The Dirty Pair writers’ room or equivalent must have been a seriously strange place sometimes.
Imagine for a moment a writer pitching a pair of serial killers playing chess by murdering women in blocks of flats 8 stories high, and 8 rooms across, whilst posing as door to door salesmen. Part of the pitch is the idea that the killers will carve initials representing pieces into the foreheads of the women.
Anywhere else this would be a full length slasher movie.
In the Dirty Pair writers’ room? Cool, let’s turn it into 23 minute one-room comedy.
Welcome to Dirty Pair episode 24 Are You Serious?! A Condo is a Dangerous Place to Live.
The bizarre thing is that Are You Serious actually works as an episode, despite the Zeerust inherent in door to door salesmen in an era of online shopping.
The opening is a creepy scene of a serial killer claiming his 32nd victim, although all of the gory details are offscreen. Cut to news reporters talking about the door to door salesman killer. Kei and Yuri are cooped up in an apartment as bait.
Nanmo and Mughi are playing chess, and apparently the Lovely Angels haven’t done their homework as to why they’re in this apartment or why Gooley is confident that the killer will show up. Fortunately Yuri is a speed reader once she gets around to reading the report thoughtfully provided by Gooley.
Cue the appearance of not one, but three increasingly improbable door to door salesmen. The creepy guy selling laser knives for the kitchen, the bishounen selling electrified anti-groping bras, and the arrogant kid wearing sunglasses inside to hide his artificial eyes. The kid also hates the Lovely Angels on sight because they remind him of his mother in different ways.
Then a cop arrives to investigate. Of course it turns out that the cop is actually one of the killers because he changed his MO once the door to door salesman business hit the news.
The comedy in this episode is driven off the interactions between the Lovely Angels, the increasingly bizarre salesmen, and the fake cop. All the while Nanmo and Mughi are playing chess, and Yuri hijacks the board as part of the big reveal.
A throwaway line at the end mentions that the other killer was also caught in another building.
This is a bizarrely constructed episode, and reading over the description I can’t for the life of me see how Are You Serious works at all, let alone manages to be funny.
Somehow Are You Serious does work, and somehow it is funny, and is an episode with zero collateral damage. Go figure.
The battle bikini percentages fall to 75% and 73% (depending on how you count episode 23).
 Hey, I never said this episode was subtle.
 Your light sabre slices, dices, and does Julien fries!