Kei and Yuri - Nozomi Cover Art - Episodes 10 - 13

Kei and Yuri – Nozomi Cover Art – Episodes 10 – 13

Dirty Pair Episode 11 Hah, Hah, Hah, Dresses and Men Should Always Be Brand New is a lot of fun, and a welcome return to form after What? We’re Heinous Kidnappers!

The episode opens with Kei and Yuri complaining about having worked for 2 solid months without a break. Hiding in the hills above some complex or other they’re demanding a week of vacation. Gooley reluctantly agrees to this once their current sabotage mission is finished[1].

Yuri promptly pushes the button, and the complex explodes. Dancing and merriment ensues as Gooley realises that he’s been had. Mind you, he shouldn’t be surprised given that the Lovely Angels have form for this[2].

Alas, two solid months out of the social scene results in the Lovely Angels being, sadly,[3] dateless. Like the Vitirolic Best Buds that they are, they naturally mock each other over this. Fortunately a letter inviting them to a party on another planet arrives from a “G. A. Francess”, accompanied by a photo of a handsome young man.


The Lovely Angels head off, but detour to another planet so that Yuri can visit a boutique she’s fond of there. Kei is waiting impatiently outside, and embarrassing Yuri inside when things start going wrong.

There is a pair of criminals on this planet that kinda, sorta, resemble Kei and Yuri. To the extent that the guy has short red hair[4] and the woman long black hair. I suppose that’s enough for the incompetent local cops to show up in great numbers and attempt to bring the Dirty Pair in.

Between the Conservation of Ninjutsu, and the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy that apparently trained these idiots, that works about as well as you’d think.

Kei and Yuri rush back to the Lovely Angel to find a far more fearsome foe waiting for them.

Kids. Kids playing on the elevator and, wait for it, playing at being the Dirty Pair[5]. The kids are refusing to get off[6] and in the scuffle the elevator gets activated. Score: Kids 1, Dirty Pair 0.

Further scuffles inside the Lovely Angel don’t work out too well either to begin with. Score: Kids 2, Dirty Pair 0.

In the meantime the police, army, etc have shown up to surround the Lovely Angel and are demanding the release of the hostages. At this point it’s fair to say that the Lovely Angels are working on it and mostly succeed in flying away whilst safely dropping the kids off. Score: Kids 2, Dirty Pair 1.


Well, there is that one kid that pops up between them after they finish the first warp. Score: Kids 3, Dirty Pair 1.

So back they go, and because they’re on vacation and not actually trying to cause mayhem, the Lovely Angels wind up in jail pending confirmation of their identities[7].

They are however starting to run late, and weren’t properly searched beforehand, so Kei and Yuri make their own exit.

On their way back to the Lovely Angel, Kei and Yuri pass a hostage situation in a bank put on by the duo mentioned earlier. The kids from earlier are also on hand and identify Kei and Yuri to bystanders, press, cops, etc as the Dirty Pair. More or less pressganged into action, they leap into the bank and solve the case, and without any casualties. The criminals are an ugly pair, and the Lovely Angels are suitably offended.

Finally free of the planet the Lovely Angels head off again and break several interstellar speed limits to make it to the party in time.

Dressed up nicely they arrive to be greeted by… Gooley. Apparently he baited the hook for a fairly boring family gathering by including a student photo of himself in the letter. The episode closes with Kei and Yuri, miraculously, not blowing up everything in sight and actually trying to be polite[8].

Hah, Hah, Hah, Dresses and Men Should Always Be Brand New is possibly the best episode to date. Funny, fast, and surprisingly devoid of collateral damage, Dresses and Men is simply a joy to watch.

The battle bikini percentage rises to 63%, and the planets destroyed tally remains at 1.

Next up: The Little Dictator! Let Sleeping Top Secrets Lie.

[1] Either the 3WA is openly mercenary, or the complex had some dodgy business going on. Take your pick.

[2] They rather cheerfully extorted bonuses and vacations out of Gooley at the end of episode 6 Lots of Danger, Lots of Decoys.

[3] Well, sadly for the Lovely Angels at any rate. Based on the phone calls at least one of the erstwhile dates is doing quite nicely thanks.

[4] Being mistaken for a man does not amuse Kei at all. Fortunately I don’t think Yuri heard that bit.

[5] I foresee bright futures of destruction and mayhem for those kids.

[6] After all they were here first.

[7] It’s also a jail with electrified bars. Something that Yuri isn’t told about until after she finds out…

[8] Although you can almost hear Yuri’s teeth grinding at the effort.