In which it is revealed that 10% of the Dirty Pair universe are transgender, the Lovely Angels are incurable romantics, and being transphobic will annoy them a lot.
Welcome to the pleasingly progressive seventh episode of the Dirty Pair TV series Love is Everything. Risk Your Life to Elope!!
Love is Everything opens with an interesting wedding sequence. For a start there’s at least half a dozen brides, the groom Clicky Goldjeff is being led in by the brides in chains, and his father Moon de Goldjeff is gloating about the whole affair.
Goldjeff’s plan is that with that many women around, Clicky won’t be straying from the path. Oh, and the waiters in the enormous hall all appear to be Bunny Boys.
Then the organ plays an ominous tune and the organist Joanca starts the mayhem and rescues Clicky. He seems rather relieved.
The Lovely Angels arrive on planet and are told that Clicky has been kidnapped, and that they’ve been hired to deliver the ransom. Along the way there’s a Chekhov’s Rocket in the form of mentioning three trial time dilation rockets built by the Goldjeff company as a possible tourist venture.
The idea being to spend 1 day experienced time and 50 years elapsed due to time dilation on rocket touring the local space area. However it’s a rejected concept and Goldjeff orders the hapless executive providing the demonstration ad to work on something else.
Goldjeff’s mistress is a deeply suspicious sort and clearly up to no good. Meanwhile Clicky and Joanca are all gooey eyed over each other.
Some behind the scenes rigging gets all the main players to a fairly creepy botanic institute for the ransom and hand over. At this point some fairly creepy mind control tech is used on Joanca in an attempt to break the couple up.
Kei spots it in operation, intervenes, and Lovely Angels are starting to swing round to the couple’s side. This is of course when Goldjeff et al show up and the truth comes out: Goldjeff is a bigot objecting to the fact that Joanca used to be a man.
The Lovely Angels are not impressed by this, note that 10% of the population are transgender, and swing fully over to Clicky and Joanca’s side. Alas, Goldjeff brought peace through superior firepower and escapes with Clicky and Joanca whilst leaving the Lovely Angels tied up.
At this point Goldjeff’s plan is to shoot Joanca off in one of the tourist rockets mentioned earlier. Unfortunately for Goldjeff, the Lovely Angels have gotten themselves free, reverted to the battle bikinis, and are flying to the rescue in the Lovely Angel with a partially rebuilt Nanmo at the helm.
Mayhem and hilarity ensues. Joanca ends up being sent off by accident whilst Kei and Yuri are apprehending Goldjeff.
Faced with not seeing her for 50 years, Clicky races off to follow her in the second rocket. The Lovely Angels even help him do it.
Then, faced with not seeing Clicky for 50 years, Goldjeff breaks free and sends himself off in the third rocket.
The mistress gets left behind, and apparently really did love Goldjeff so it kind of sucks to be her.
The episode closes with the following dialogue (no prizes for guessing who’s saying what):
Love is Everything is truly classic Dirty Pair. The episode is fun, over the top, and as I said at the beginning pleasingly progressive. Granted it’s true that Kei and Yuri are relentlessly cisgender heterosexuals , but their reflexive acceptance of Joanca after a moment of surprise is just fabulous. Especially in a show that’s 30 years old.
The battle bikini percentage rises to 57%.
Next up is: Gotta Do It! Love Is What Makes A Woman Explode!
 In the Firefly: Serenity sense of the word, at least from Clicky’s perspective.
 I told you the names were bizarre.
 No, really.
 I haven’t done the math for the required acceleration needed to trigger that level of time dilation because A) I’m not sure I can, and B) I’m not sure I want to know.
 Although still in the wedding outfits at least a day later. You just gotta love that Limited Wardrobe trope (although it’s averted surprisingly often for Kei and Yuri).
 See! I told you it was a Chekhov’s Rocket.
 IT’S NOT THEIR FAULT. REALLY. HONEST.
 Even if they never actually get any. It was a TV show after all.